Sunday, February 20, 2011

Life as I know it...

There is so much in life to be thankful for, unfortunately a lot of the time we forget about those things and we focus on the negative. Today someone I love and admire reminded me that when we are down and we need some inspiration all we need to do is read His words and get down on our knees. To quote him," it seems simple, Because IT IS." And he is so right! Many of you know that morgan and I have had some struggles this past year and I am so grateful for them. I feel so blessed to have been chosen at this time to carry this sweet baby. the Lord has blessed me to know and realize just how precious life is. I feel like I took the privilege of being a woman for granted for so long. I saw all my friends and family having babies and loving them so much and I wanted that so much, but i feel that it was a little selfish. I wanted to have the sweet baby to love me and for me to love back... to be able to dress and buy toys for... I wanted all the worldly things that come with babies I think. Not that I didnt want a family, but I feel like I wasnt wanting what the Lord wanted. I was trying to make my own plan and forgetting that this sweet spirit is just a loner :)But as that smart man said... "You dont know how good something is until its gone." Soon after we lost our sweet spirit I mourned all the things I wouldnt ever get to have... being pregnant and wearing my stripey pjs and seeing our first sonagram and hearing our babies heart beat for the first time. I was so scared to try again but the man who delivered me and my sisters and half of my family said to me words I will never forget," the best way to get over a loss is to fill it with happiness and Love." So I changed my attitude... "For this child I PRAYED" Oh, did I pray. I prayed for strength. I prayed for help. I prayed for a child we could raise in the church, a child we could give back to the Lord. a child we would Love more than anything that we would teach all we know. I often pondered if that trial was the Lords way of testing me or if my sweet spirit tried to come down but just wasnt ready, or if maybe I wasnt ready. I see now that the Lord has a plan for me and morgan and for our sweet baby. Although I had so much love for our first baby, The Love I feel for this baby that I have only met through a computer monitor and a touch of my belly is so much more than I ever could have imagined. The strength and understanding that has come from just a simple act of faith is more amazing than I ever could have Dreamed.
Our little family is growing with humility and faith. We know now that no matter what happens (good or sad) the lord is with us wether its through our family or friends or a simple feeling of peace. I LOVE THE GOSPEL!